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Why Strangers Are Good for Us

One Saturday morning, I took my 5-year-old son to the playground. A few minutes into

his "ninja training" regimen, he attracted a fan. The other boy was younger, but the plas-

tic glint of my son’s dollar-store sword slicing evil from the air proved irresistible. He

edged closer and mimicked his moves, until they began to play together, shouting "Ya!"

in unison, kicking with the verve of Rockettes. I smiled at the child’sfather on the next

bench and made an effort at playground banter, asking the boy’s age and whether they

lived nearby. But after a few half-answers he pointed to the [earbuds] in his ears.

What could I do?

I picked up my phone and scrolled through the news. A fast-casual restaurant chain

was experimenting with replacing its cashiers with "virtual cashiers" connected by

video link from Nicaragua and paid around $3 an hour. As I sat there, willingly ignor-

ing and being ignored by the only other adult nearby, the story struck me as just another

example of how modern life keeps us insulated from strangers.

Not so long ago, it was impossible to go through life without speaking, in some

way, to a variety of strangers in your life: The bus driver, barista, security guard, re-

ceptionist, butcher, government clerk, store cashier and restaurant server were all hu-

mans who required at least the bare minimum of conversation. If you were at a play-

ground a generation ago, halfheartedly watching some swing-set drama, ignoring the

casual greetings of another parent would be extremely rude.

When I lived in New York City a decade ago, I couldn’t spend 10 minutes outside

without speaking to someone. That’s the thing I loved about the place: how New York-

ers will kibitz and comment and carry on a conversation in line for pizza, on the side-

walk or in the subway; ask for directions or compliment a particularly awesome hat of

someone they have never met, without any awkwardness. Today, you can spend a week

in New York, shopping, traveling, eating and working, and never utter a sound to an-

other human being, or even take your headphones off.

It shouldn’t be this way. Engagement with strangers is at the core of our social con-

tract. Most religious faiths instruct us to welcome the strangers we encounter, and

there’s good reason for this. If we engaged only with the people we knew, our world

would be small. That leap of faith toward the unknown other is what allows us to grow

beyond the family unit, tribe or nation. Everyone you converse with who is not a bio-

logical relative – your best friend, neighbor, lover, spouse or even that chatty taxi driver

from last weekend – was a stranger before you spoke to that person. Anytime we ignore

strangers in our vicinity, whether because of fear, bigotry or the everyday convenience

and efficiency of digital technology, we weaken that contract.

[...][S]trangers are actually one of the richest and most important resources we

have. They connect us to the community, teach us empathy, build civility and are full

of surprise and potentially wonder.

"I’ve spent many years studying the people who are the furthest out of our social

networks, and they really do add a richness to our life that we miss when we’re not

there," said Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer at the University of Essex, whose re-

search has demonstrated how the small, transactional relationships we create by talking

to strangers are important pillars of our social and emotional well-being.

[...] Sandstrom [...] forces herself to speak to strangers every day, despite identi-

fying as an introvert. “But they form this tapestry that when we’re not there, our life

feels kind of empty.”

A study published last fall showed that despite our fears of awkwardness, deep,

meaningful conversations with strangers are not only easier than expected but also left

participants feeling better about themselves.

In some ways, our recent aversion to strangers is a byproduct of technological evo-

lution. Sure, newspapers and magazines, cassette players and televisions were all po-

tential distractions, but none of them fully normalized ignoring other people in the way

that smartphones have. E-commerce sites and third-party restaurant delivery apps in-

centivize us against entering stores and restaurants filled with strangers. Some digital

technology goes further, like the [taxi-app] feature that allows you to preemptively

mute a driver’s attempt at friendly conversation.

Then came the pandemic, and suddenly, each physical encounter with a stranger

carried the potential of death. We were ordered to stay home, avoid public spaces and

speak only within our trusted bubbles. We sought refuge in the distance that digital

technology allowed us, watching movies, attending exercise classes and having meet-

ings all without entering a theater, gym or office. [...] Our world grew inward and

suspicious, our fears exacerbated by the latest news about fresh variants and rising

crime rates not seen in decades. "Stranger danger," that discredited catchphrase of the

milk-carton /unmarked-van kidnapping past, seemed to creep back into our present.

Strangers are intimidating for a reason. Even when they are not physically threat-

ening, they can make us feel uneasy, inhabiting awkward silences. Digital technology

promises to fill those silences with more hardware and software to insulate us from

those we do not know, like the robo-barista vending machine that opened near me last

year, which serves lattes through a little window with nary a syllable of chit or chat.

But a future where coffee is served by robots is not an improvement on the coffee

shop. It ignores a central purpose of the neighborhood cafe, a place for hot drinks and

human interaction.

At the playground, I glanced up from my phone and saw my son and the other boy

yammering away as if they’d known each other for years. The other father looked up

too and seemed genuinely surprised at this instant relationship. He walked over, knelt

and asked his son who he was playing with.

“I don’t know his name,” the boy said, as his tiny fingers clutched one of my son’s

[toy] figures, “but he’s my friend.”

(1000 words)

David Sax, "Why Strangers Are Good for Us", in: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/12/opinion/strangers-talking-benefits.html From The New York Times. © 2022 The New York Times Company. All rights reserved. Used under license.

Text comprehension and analysis

Complete the following tasks using your own words as far as is appropriate. Quote correctly.

Outline how and why direct communication with strangers has changed.

Analyse the writer’s line of argumentation and its intended effects, as well as three different types of stylistic devices he uses to get his message across.

(35%)

Composition

Choose one of the following topics and write a coherent text laying out your ideas.

People love being asked questions about themselves.
Discuss.

“I’ve found that luck is quite predictable.
If you want more luck, take more chances.”
(Brian Tracy, born 1944, Canadian-American motivational speaker and author)

Comment on this statement.

Describe briefly, analyse and comment on the cartoon.

(20%)

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Note:
Our solutions are listed in bullet points. In the examination, full marks can only be achieved by writing a continuous text.

Text comprehension and analysis

In today's digital age, David Sax explores how our interactions with strangers have changed in his 2022 article "Why Strangers Are Good for Us". Published in the New York Times, the article explores the reasons for these changes and emphasises the importance of engaging with unfamiliar people.

Introduction

small talk with strangers was once a common and enjoyable form of entertainment but became harder
$\rightarrow$ " [...] made an effort at playground banter, asking the boy’s age [...]" (l.6)

in places like New York City, it was common to strike up conversations while waiting or meeting like-minded people
$\rightarrow$ refusing to participate in these conversations used to be considered impolite
$\rightarrow$ "required at least the bare minimum of conversation [...] ignoring the casual greetings of another parent would be extremely rude" (l.17-18)

today, even taxi drivers can be muted through an app to avoid small talk
$\rightarrow$ "[...] like the [taxi-app] feature that allows you to preemptively mute a driver’s attempt at friendly conversation. " (l.55-56)

in the present day, there is an abundance of devices and applications that make in-person interactions unnecessary, and in some cases, unachievable
$\rightarrow$ " [...] like the robo-barista vending machine that opened near me [...]" (l.68)

Main Body
How the nature of direct communication has evolved

Technological Advancement
$\rightarrow$ everyday interactions such as small talk and casual banter are no longer part of our daily routine due to advances in technology
$\rightarrow$ replacing human employees with machines or apps "replacing its cashiers with "virtual cashiers" connected by video link from Nicaragua" (l.10-11)
$\rightarrow$ the ease and speed with which technology completes various tasks has made it commonplace for most people to get on with life with minimal social contact

Awkwardness in Interaction with Strangers
$\rightarrow$ many people have developed a sense of insecurity when it comes to direct communication with unfamiliar individuals
$\rightarrow$ interaction is often deemed unnecessary, a significant number of individuals tend to avoid the discomfort because "Strangers are intimidating for a reason" (l. 65)

Impact of the Covid-19 pandemic
$\rightarrow$ COVID-19 pandemic has helped to change direct contact with other people
$\rightarrow$ potential dangers of face-to-face contact led people to seek refuge in the apparent safety of online activities (l.57-61)
$\rightarrow$ fear of strangers increased as a result of the impact of the pandemic

Reasons why direct communication has changed

overall, evolving communication dynamics highlight the delicate balance between technology and personal interaction
overcoming this shift leads to a reconsideration of the importance of genuine human relationships in our changing society
the complicated interplay between technological advancement and the timeless importance of authentic relationships is evident in the changing communications landscape
navigating this delicate balance underscores the enduring importance of personal relationships in the midst of rapid technological advancement
ecognising and prioritising authentic relationships is crucial if we are to manage these changes in our changing society

Conclusion

In the article "Why strangers are good for us", journalist David Sax makes his point in clear terms. His entire article is a well-organised call for direct communication with strangers, which advises against relying on the technical aids that today's society has given us.

Introduction and core message

the personal anecdote of Sax is the starting point of the argumentation (l. 1–13), recounting the unfortunate failure to engage in a casual conversation with another parent at the playground
incident prompted the journalist to reflect on the prevalent sense of isolation experienced by contemporary individuals
the anecdote at the beginning of the article serves as a mirror that reflects the general social trend towards less interaction with strangers and emphasises the importance of the topic
$\rightarrow$ aims to inspire empathy and encourage readers to reflect on the emotional impact
argumentation progresses by highlighting a shift from a time of common casual conversations to the present, influenced by technology and social distancing

Main body
Line of Argumentation

author's point of view: by repeatedly including his own opinion in the text, the reader realises which side he stands for and that communication is the most important thing for people
in his opinion there's a lack of communication
$\rightarrow$ "It shouldn’t be this way." (l. 27)
Sax's key message is that "[e]ngagement with strangers is at the core of our social contract" (l. 27-28).
to support this point, Sax refers to several religious teachings and biological evolution (l. 28-31)
persuasion: author aims to persuade readers to recognize the value of interactions with strangers as vital to social well-being, utilising personal experiences to make the argument relatable (e.g.: l. 1-8 & 73-78)

Intended Effects

enumeration: highlighting the author's perspective that the current state of affairs is not an improvement from the past (l. 14–26)
description of the era in New York City vividly and emphasising the numerous social interactions that shaped the communicative atmosphere
Sax suggests that spending 10 minutes outside without speaking to someone was impossible in the past, while today, one could spend a week in New York without uttering a word to another person (l. 24–26)

Stylistic devices

author's point of view: by repeatedly including his own opinion in the text, the reader realises which side he stands for and that communication is the most important thing for people
in his opinion there's a lack of communication
$\rightarrow$ "It shouldn’t be this way." (l. 27)
Sax's key message is that "[e]ngagement with strangers is at the core of our social contract" (l. 27-28).
to support this point, Sax refers to several religious teachings and biological evolution (l. 28-31)

authorities: Sax cites academic research to validate his assertion that engaging in conversations with unfamiliar individuals is beneficial
$\rightarrow$ "I’ve spent many years studying the people who are the furthest out of our social networks, and they really do add a richness to our life that we miss when we’re not there" (l.39-41)

the seemingly paradoxical fact that even the reserved Ms. Sandstrom "forces herself to speak to strangers " (l.44) underscores the strength of her efforts.

figurative language: Sax uses metaphorical language to portray the current times as bleak and dark
fear of strangers is described as "creeping back into our present" (l. 64) and the increasing use of "hardware and software" is depicted as isolation from unknown people (l. 67-68)
the coffee shop scenario with a "robo-barista machine" that serves lattes without any conversation also paints a dystopian picture (l. 68-69)
argues that a technologically dominated world, despite its efficiency and convenience, "is not an improvement" (l. 70)

Giving the encounter a positive twist, he concludes on a hopeful note, emphasising the universal relevance of his argument
contrast children, who naturally engage with strangers, with most adults, who are impaired by socialisation in a modern world dominated by simplistic technology
children serve as examples that show that contact with new people can and should be a positive experience that counteracts the negative effects on adults

Conclusion

Composition

Fascination with one's own identity and experiences is a universal aspect of human nature. The quote "People love to be asked questions about themselves" summarises a fundamental truth about social interactions. This discussion explores why individuals tend to love being asked questions about their own lives.

Introduction

teachers for example ask about your siblings' names, it's not just to know about the names themselves
$\rightarrow$ probably interested in checking that you know the correct use of possessive determiners
$\rightarrow$ create connections between the students
these personal inquiries go beyond individual understanding
$\rightarrow$ build connections between the teacher and students and foster a sense of community within the class
revealing shared connections among classmates

Main Body
Understanding one another and forming connections

personal topics may be sensitive for some individuals, depending on their willingness and ability to respond
embarrassment about family finances, can make people cautious about answering personal questions
$\rightarrow$ describing one's room for an English assignment might be embarrassing if it involves revealing living spaces
$\rightarrow$ lack of personal accommodation

Importance of privacy for individuals

some seemingly innocent personal questions, like asking about someone's family background, may accidentally convey a message that causes hurt feelings
despite genuine intentions to connect, these inquiries can be misinterpreted, creating mistrust instead

Sensitivity to potentially offensive questions

imagine a world where people avoid asking personal questions to prevent offense
conversations would lack depth and genuine interest, depriving individuals of the sense of being valued and taken seriously that arises from inquiries about their opinions and experiences

Interest fosters value

asking personal questions requires tact, varying with the level of familiarity
empathy is essential, inquiring about personal aspects is crucial for understanding others
one must think before asking, but shouldn't worry excessively
answering personal questions can foster connections, turning acquaintances into friends, teammates, or colleagues

Conclusion

Brian Tracy's quote "I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances." claims that happiness is predictable and related to taking chances. He summarises a perspective which is often associated with the philosophy of risk and reward. In a world where happiness is often perceived as difficult to grasp and uncontrollable, Tracy offers a fresh look at the problem and suggests a proactive approach to improve your own happiness. This essay explores the philosophy behind Tracy's proposition and examines how happiness and risk-taking are linked.

Introduction

two primary approaches are available for navigating this new phase
$\rightarrow$ first approach involves following established paths suggested by parents and teachers
parents and teachers recommend familiar routes like college programs or overseas journeys
recommendations stem from their experiences, perspectives and social class expectations
example of the conventional path is a summer backpacking adventure in Australia followed by business or architecture studies
it's crucial to understand that this conventional plan is just one option
$\rightarrow$ in reality, a one-size-fits-all approach is rarely effective

Main Body
The conventional path

taking chances and embracing failures is crucial
venturing beyond the expected may lead to unforeseen options or ideas
working in a pub in Warsaw or busking in Spain could teach me more about myself than following well-intentioned suggestions
exploring unconventional paths, like learning a trade or pursuing music, might not be the conventional route, but it's worth trying—each failure is an opportunity to improve and discover something new

Taking risks and acknowledging failures

absolute certainty about one's future is rare and, in my case, non-existent
it's a good idea to allow for some random probes and exploration
given the uncertainty, it's reasonable to try out various things and take risks
experimenting and taking calculated risks can be a way to challenge and influence one's luck in a positive direction

Conclusion

Social Perspectives on Addictions

Heading

The cartoon by Chappatte compares smartphone usage to smoking at a train station. Seven individuals are engrossed in their smartphones, while one person, without a phone, stands near a "Smoke Free Space" sign. She suggests, with a hint of smugness, that "unhealthy addictions must be banned," seeking confirmation from others.

Main Body
Description

the cartoonist draws parallels between smartphone and smoking addictions
smoking is widely recognized as a public health risk, leading to restrictions like "smoke-free zones" to protect individuals and those around them
in contrast, smartphone addiction remains largely underappreciated
despite its diverse dangers, such as damage to eyes, posture, and overall fitness, it lacks the regulatory attention given to smoking
smartphone addiction poses distinct risks to physical health
issues include eye damage, poor posture (especially in the cervical spine) and a decline in general fitness due to prolonged screen time
the psychological reliance on mobile phones is a cause for concern
Nomophobia, a real condition, exemplifies this dependence
$\rightarrow$ captures the anxiety and discomfort associated with the idea of living without a mobile device
individuals are addicted to the continuous stimulation and reassurance provided by their virtual social contacts
dependency reflects a need for constant engagement with the digital world
some contend that a smartphone addiction doesn't impact others as second-hand smoke does
some contend that a smartphone addiction doesn't impact others as second-hand smoke does

Analysis

Chappatte's cartoon compares smoking perfectly with smartphone use and emphasises the challenge of campaigning for restrictions on digital devices
recognizing the difficulty in addicts realizing the harm, it underscores the need to critically assess the benefits and drawbacks of constant smartphone accessibility for the future of society
regulating smartphone use is a tough challenge, understanding its necessity is the first step, even if you're the only one who recognizes it on the platform

Cartoon’s message

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